Artificial Insemination

Ranching has come a long way, baby! This week at the ranch, 550 yearling heffers were artificially inseminated. But it ain't your grandaddy's methods they used. First, they round the cows up using four wheelers and this giant green army truck. Horses are for wimps I guess. They corral them all and bring them 7 at a time into the shoot. They insert a plastic "cow tampon" (sorry to the men reading this but it is the best way I know to describe it!) into the cows which releases a chemical that fools them into thinking that they are pregnant. They then let them go for a week. Again, they round them up. This time, now that they have gotten all of the cows cycling at the same time, they inject them with a chemical to make them go into heat and also smear purple paint on their backsides. Then they put them back out to pasture for a few days. When the purple paint is smeared they know it is time to corral them one more time and inject the semen because smeared paint means all the females are so hot for a little action they are out there dry humping each other. NO KIDDING! See the pictures above if you don't believe me.